Global Cooling Endangers Wildlife

A new spin on the debate of global climate change

Geese frantically search for open water north of the arctic circle.

There are two schools of thought on the issue of climate change as the topic begins to be discussed in open forums among academics and politicians. The latest to weigh in on the subject is Enviroclimatologist William Rogers a researcher in Alaska. “I’ve been studying arctic and sub arctic climate for 39 years” said Rogers. His work over the last two years has focused primarily on the arctic with an emphasis on migratory birds. "There are a number of indicators that point to global cooling rather than global warming” he said. Rogers suggested this radical theory after the winter of 2008 saw record cold temperatures in many parts of the world including his area of research, Alaska. “If this condition does not change, water fowl that depend on open water in boreal terrain will find their breeding habitat decimated” Rogers asserted. “We now are in danger of losing several species of birds due to frozen ponds and lakes in the arctic region” he said.

Rogers, who received his degree in Enviroclimatology from Spurious University, the same school as Nobel Peace Prize recipient Al Gore, suggested why two researchers in the same discipline could arrive at such radically different theories on environmental change. “Field work.” said Rogers. “I’ve actually been in the arctic and have even built a snowman.” No such claim has ever been made by his academic counterpart, Al Gore. With this new allegation Gore's research into Global Warming has come under fire by former colleagues at Spurious University. “Frankly, Al’s position was challenged by several of us when we examined photographic evidence he submitted with his thesis on Global Warming shortly after his loss to George W. Bush nine years ago” Rogers said. “Gore concluded that Flamingos, following more temperate climates, had migrated north of the Arctic Circle. Several of us were unconvinced. Upon close examination of a photo Gore submitted with his paper on the subject; we could not tell if the picture had been altered utilizing graphic technology or if the photograph had been staged” Rogers asserted. “I’m not even sure that these are flamingos at all” he said

Central to the controversy, this photo submitted by Gore with his paper on global warming in 2001 has come under scrutiny. Was it staged?

Other experts in the field suggested Gore may have attempted to master too many disciplines. “Al’s Major at Spurious (University) was Computer Science, he really made his name with his invention of the internet” one former colleague stated. Rogers however had more to say of Gores research; “I believe that Al has utilized his course work in creative writing from Harvard to its best advantage. Few fiction writers can claim the type of results Al Gore now boasts after his net worth jumped from about one million dollars shortly after leaving the office of Vice President to about 100 million dollars today" said Rogers.

In this climate model, New York City lies beneath 1 mile of glacial ice.

"Unfortunately it is an inconvenient truth that creative writing and hard, scientific research do not complement one another in the long term, and scientific analysis will in time win out” he said. When asked what this means in a geopolitical climate where legislation is adversely reconstructing the U.S. economy in an effort to reduce potential climate altering energy sources Rogers said this “I have developed a climate model taking into consideration the last several years of data and concluded that the eastern seaboard could be enveloped in up to a mile of glacial ice within fifty years. We can only hope that the debate on Global Climate Change returns to where it belongs. If legislation on reducing climate altering gasses are affective, we could be facing a new ice age within a generation.”